“Do you know what the hardest part of growing old is?”
“What?”
“You stop being seen. When you're young, you're someone - fun, bold, full of spark. But as the years pass, you become just ... background. 'That old man in the jacket.' 'That woman with the beret.' Like you're not really there anymore.”
“Well, I noticed you the moment you walked in.”
This moment comes from a British series - but the truth hits everywhere.
Aging, for many, isn’t just about aching joints or gray hair. It’s about being forgotten. The world keeps rushing by, and suddenly no one asks your name, your story, your dreams. You're no longer “someone” - you’re just “old.”
Friends pass. Family gets busy. Strangers stop seeing you.
But we can change that.
Don’t let the people who built this world feel like they’ve disappeared from it.
Ask them about their life. Their memories. What made them laugh.
Sometimes all it takes is a genuine “How are you?” to remind someone they still matter.
Let’s make them feel seen.
Showing posts with label Ageing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ageing. Show all posts
Wednesday, 18 June 2025
Tuesday, 20 July 2021
SIX MISTAKES ADULT CHILDREN MAKE WHEN PARENTS ARE AGEING AND SICK
As an adult child, caring for an ageing or sick parent is a major responsibility. While there are many factors and decisions to consider, there are also precautions the adult child must prepare for and seek to avoid while caring for their ageing parent.
Failure to plan ahead. Be sure to take proactive steps for long-term care in regards to your parent. Research the different living options that are available and what the best option may be for them; in-home care, adult daycare, assisted living, etc. Also, seek background information and survey results from residents or clients. Meet with healthcare or senior care specialist to discuss your specific situation, figure out together what the best option for your parent(s) may be.
Emotionally unprepared. Failing to prepare yourself emotionally for the changes that come with ageing parents can have a permanent effect on you. Give yourself enough time to cope mentally and emotionally, especially if you’re now sharing your house with your parent(s), they’re suffering from an illness, or they’re experiencing memory problems which contribute to moodiness or frustration. The more emotionally and mentally prepared you are, the more patience and understanding you will have with your ageing parent.
Give them space to fail. Of course you want to protect your parents as they protected you as a child. However, try to remember, that as a child, often times you needed and wanted your own space to try things yourself. The same goes for your parents. Give them the space to figure out their own care needs, as long as they aren’t facing severe risks. Small needs like keeping up with the house,
cooking, home repairs, etc.
Failing to understand the overall situation. Not evaluating your parent(s)’ cognitive ability and overall health won’t help you understand their situation any better and will lead to more frustration. Have them evaluated for dementia, early signs of Alzheimer’s or other degenerative cognitive diseases, as well as a full health evaluation to better understand the care options, treatments and medications that need to be changed or taken.
Failing to let your parents feel a sense of control. Everyone needs and wants to feel in control of their lives, no matter what age they are or how ill they become. It’s natural to want to help your parents without asking them, but instead discuss with them their opinions and wants so they feel they are able to have a say still, and find a way to compromise on issues that you may not see eye-to-eye on. Remember, it’s still their life.
Neglecting to take proper care of yourself. It’s easy to become so caught up with taking care of your ageing or sick parent, that you forget about your own health, which will slowly begin to deteriorate. Remember, to take time for yourself ever so often, find a support group, schedule and maintain regular doctor appointments. If you’re not healthy and taken care of, it will reflect on the care you provide for your parent.
There are several factors, issues and topics to consider while taking care of an aging or sick parent. It may seem overwhelming, however, by preparing in advance and becoming cautious and educated with your parent’s situation, will help to eliminate stress.
[More information here.]
Thursday, 1 October 2020
Internasionale dag vir ouer persone
In my nadenke oor hierdie dag, my gesels met ander én ouer persone, het ek ontdek dat daar so dikwels klem gelê word op die verhale van hoe ouer persone deur hulle naasbestaandes en versorgers aan hulle eie lot oorgelaat, verwaarloos, mishandel, vergeet en hul handelingsbevoegdheid vertrap word. Ons ouer persone was vir jare lank onafhanklik en vandag, in hul kwesbaarheid en afhanklikheid van ander, bring hulle nog steeds op ‘n onbaatsugtige wyse meer as hulle deel vir hulle kinders en medemens.
Wat kan ons binne die ACVV doen om dié week vir ouer persone (30 September tot 6 Oktober 2020) tot sy reg te laat kom?
Ons gee erkenning aan ons ouer persone vir hulle bydraes. Ons ouer persone verdien dit dat hulle naasbestaandes en versorgers moeite doen om hulle behoeftes binne konteks van hul lewensfase te verstaan. Daarby wil die ouer persoon nog, hoe gering ook al, waarde tot ander se lewens toevoeg.
Kom ons neem hande en streef daarna om elke dag ons ACVV-waardes teenoor ons ouer persone uit te leef en hulle aktief in te skakel in ons organisasie, gesinslewe en werksplek.
Lucia Smuts
Nasionale Bestuurder Ouer Persone
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